Divided Paths
by Lillian Smith
Summary: There's more to being a Healer than to "save people's lives". Before she became the matron of Hogwarts, she had started out as a Healer, and but realised she couldn't handle it. This is her story.


**_Rated: T_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter_**

* * *

**_Cover image link: : / / www . deviant art lumosita / art / Madam - Pomfrey - 360254654_**

**_Original Artist: Lumosita on Deviant Art_**

* * *

**The International Wizarding School Championship**

**School and Theme: Beauxbatons, Magical Bugs**

**Main Prompt: [Emotion] Heartbreak**

**Addition Prompts: [Object] Cursed Necklace, [Illness] Dragon Pox**

**Year: 5**

**Word count: 2876**

* * *

**Also a huge thanks to the Beauxbatons team for beta'ing this for me.**

* * *

**Divided Paths**

A shiver passed down her spine as she saw a patient on a stretcher being carted quickly across the second floor. He was whisked into the emergency room in a flash, and in that flash, she recognized the symptoms of dragon pox clinging to his skin.

She bit her lip. When she had started working as a Healer, she hadn't thought that it would be this tough.

She had decided to work as a Healer when she was a child, with the naive thought: "to save people's lives". Somehow, as she had grown up, nothing had really deterred her from her goal. Maybe that was because she simply had no real purpose other than that. She wasn't good at too many things.

The thing about working as a Healer was that you had to set aside all sorts of personal beliefs. For instance, if you found yourself facing a sick criminal, you had to help them, even if they did not deserve it. You also witnessed too many last words and stories filled with regret—much more than a weak-willed person could handle. To be a Healer, you needed walls around your heart because you would be put in varying kinds of difficult scenarios that would ensure you brought out all your different sides. Nobody had warned Poppy Pomfrey about that when she had started working at St Mungo's.

But right now, all she could think of was that patient who had been brought into the emergency room. She shook her head to dislodge the negative thoughts, knowing that he would be all right—there were some wonderful Healers here, after all.

She was called into the ward by the Healer she was working with—David Booth.

"Martin seems good," he said. "My shift is over, so make sure you give him that antidote."

"All right." Poppy nodded. She went inside and found Carl Martin, a patient who had been brought in a few hours before with several broken bones. He was seated on his hospital bed and smiled when he saw her. Poppy returned the smile.

"How are you doing?" she asked as she walked over to a nearby desk and sorted out all the scattered potions and tools.

"It hurts a little." Carl shrugged. "But I'm actually doing much better."

"That's good." Poppy nodded. By the time she had finished clearing up, it was time for her to give Carl the side-effect antidote. Before long, his condition improved, and he was allowed to leave the ward.

Poppy tidied up the room and opened the door to leave, only to come face to face with a student mediwitch who immediately asked for Mr. Booth.

"His shift is over, Shirley," Poppy explained. "But if it's an emergency, I can send him a Patronu—"

"We don't have time for that," the mediwitch interrupted in a panicked voice. "But you're here, and we need you too."

She rushed out of the room without a backward glance, fully expecting Poppy to follow her, which Poppy did.

The hallways were quiet and empty, in complete contrast to what they were like during the day, when it was more crowded. The smell of sickness still clung to the wall, though, no matter the time of the day.

"We just need more help," Shirley explained as she hurried down the hall, "and most Healers and mediwizards have already left. Those who are still here are already occupied with other patients. We don't have enough people."

"I understand," Poppy said. "What's wrong with the patient?"

"Severe case of dragon pox." She shook her head. "Absolutely terrible. Haven't seen anything like this before. We were able to keep him under control at first, but now he's in critical. We could lose him."

Poppy followed her to the emergency room. There were two worried-looking adults standing outside, presumably the patient's parents, who nodded when Shirley and Poppy walked past them. Poppy could feel the weight of their hope and fears on her shoulders, and hesitated for a moment before following Shirley into the room.

The first thing that struck her wasn't the sight, it was the smell; she'd smelled that same odour on other critically-ill patients. Shirley handed her a mask and gloves, and Poppy quickly put them on. There were two other Healers there already, and the room felt crowded and stuffy. Poppy couldn't understand why they so drastically needed more help. But experience had taught her not to underestimate the effects of magical bugs.

There was a lot of coughing and sneezing from the patient, and he looked dreadful, his body covered in rashes. Some patches of skin were a sickening shade of green, while others were a lighter hue. It looked so unnatural against his dark brown hair. The patient's haggardness caught Poppy off guard; he was almost skeletal and she tried not to think about how that would affect his chances of recovery. His fluttering breaths were a bad sign, and Poppy braced herself for the worst as she joined the team around the table. They worked frantically but with intense focus, administering vital potions, checking his pulse, casting a Breathe-Easy spell, taking his blood pressure, banishing the ooze from the pustules... Supplies were flying around the room, Accio'd from everywhere, and Poppy lost all count of time.

* * *

When the patient calmed down, falling into a fitful sleep and the Healers felt confident that his condition had stabilised, they all slowly left. Two Healers were called in for the night shift, and Poppy decided to clean up before they arrived.

As she cleared up a desk, she came across his belongings. His wallet fell open as she picked it up, and she saw his name: Kevin Perry. His Hogwarts student card and Head Boy's badge were proudly displayed, and she wondered how his illness would impact on his N.E.W.T. studies. She laid the wallet aside carefully, and began to fold his clothes. A necklace fell out of the pocket of his trousers.

"—don't touch th—" Kevin coughed violently, and Poppy flinched. She had thought he was asleep, but had clearly been mistaken.

"I'm sorry." She set the trousers back down.

"—the necklace!" He gasped.

"Do you want it?" she asked, moving to get it.

"—don't touch it!" Kevin repeated. "It's cursed."

Poppy withdrew her hand and looked at him for an explanation, but he looked too tired, and she quickly told him not to speak anymore. "You need rest," she said, as she opened the door to leave.

"Please!" Kevin said desperately and added with a pained expression, "Don't leave me… alone."

Poppy bit her lip. This was common among some patients. Being seriously ill could get really discouraging, and they needed human comfort. She had to do her duty as a nurse and as a fellow witch.

"All right." She sat down on a seat in the corner, ready to wait till the night shift Healers came. How long would she have to wait for them to come?

"Listen," he wheezed. "I have to tell you…"

_Here it comes,_ Poppy thought. It was always like this. Whenever a patient felt hopeless, they talked and vented, and while it was a relief to them, it hurt Poppy. Listening to everything and not being able to do anything about it hurt her to the core. She didn't want to hear anything, and perhaps she was being selfish about it, but she couldn't help herself. So she said gently, "I think you need some rest."

"I can't sleep," he complained. "I feel terrible. I don't think I'll live through this."

"For Merlin's sake, _never_ think like that!"

"I'm just being real," he said. "Hogwarts has the shittiest matron ever."

"I don't remember her much," Poppy said. "But I'm sure she's not that bad!"

"You're kidding, right?" Kevin said bitterly. "She's part of the reason I'm like this."

Poppy was taken aback. The Hogwarts matron had a terrible temper, and Poppy knew she could be very rude. But who wouldn't have a terrible temper if you were dealing with careless students who broke their bones and hexed each other all the time?

"I don't remember her being like that," Poppy said. However, what the student said could be true. Time did, after all, change people.

"Do you even know her?" Kevin asked dubiously. "Who was the matron when you left school?"

"Karen Barnes."

"Oh, it's not her," Kevin said. "It's someone else, and honestly, she's the most terrible staff member in Hogwarts. Even that newbie, Filch, is better."

"All right…" Poppy said. She was unfamiliar with that name. She had been away from Hogwarts for a considerable time, after all.

"That necklace—my girlfriend cursed it," he began, "and she gave it to me after I broke up with her. She put Ater Laevus in it."

"Ater Laevus…" Poppy murmured. It was a magical potion, also called "Dark Liquid". If someone drank it, it would enhance the chances of being unlucky. Or, in other words, it brought bad luck. "How did she get her hands on that? It requires advanced mastery over several subjects to brew that potion. And you need a license, plus the ingredients are guarded by the Ministry."

Kevin simply shook his head. "I don't know…"

"And what do you mean she put Ater Laevus _in it_? For its effects to work, you're supposed to drink it."

"She transferred the effects of Ater Laevus into the necklace."

"Does Hogwarts teach you how to use potions like that in objects?" Poppy questioned.

"She's from Durmstrang," he said darkly and then added, "but she came to Hogwarts last year on an exchange program. Anyway, that witch sent me the necklace in a parcel, and I had no way of knowing who it was from. Of course I was bloody curious about that necklace, and it looked pretty, and she knows I like pretty things. So I wore it. A few days later, I got another letter and guess who it was from?"

"Her?" Poppy asked unnecessarily.

"Exactly!" Kevin raised his voice. "That witch had the_ nerve_ to send me a letter telling me _exactly_ what she had done to me. Soon afterward, I got affected by dragon pox. It started out as a mild cough, so I really didn't think much of it. I just went to the infirmary and asked for the antidote, but the Healer dismissed everything I had to say and instead yelled at me for interrupting her because she was taking care of a fifth year. Then she decided to take a look at me. She _decided_ I was fine and didn't give me an antidote!"

Poppy sighed. She knew that there were some careless Healers like that, and they always gave the profession a bad reputation. She had worked with such people in the past, and they never failed to disgust her.

"Unfortunately, it just got worse, and I realized it was because of the potion's effects," Kevin continued, glad to talk to someone who would actually listen. "I told the matron about it, and she—_she didn't listen. Again_. She just shooed me away and told me off. And now? _Look at me_."

Poppy could see that the dragon pox had affected him not only physically but also mentally. He looked absolutely tired of everything. Completely exhausted, and he was far too skinny—it was obvious he hadn't been eating properly. The green rashes looked sickening.

"How long have you been like this?" she asked, but he didn't appear to hear her.

"I—I can't take this anymore." Kevin's voice shook. "First it was her, and she absolutely broke me. And now—" He coughed violently.

Poppy quickly walked over to him and patted him on the back. She murmured, "Accio Feverfew Potion," and handed the potion to him. "You're supposed to take this now. It's a calming potion."

"Thank you," Kevin said, as he took the potion. He took slow and tired breaths and said in a weary voice, "I'm tired."

Poppy nodded. "I know."

"I don't want to die. I just… she wasn't so bad, at first, you know? And then she started becoming so possessive and—and she didn't trust me. So then… I just left her, and she acted like the victim, and… we may be from different schools, but we have some friends in common. She victimized herself and got them on her side, and I was left all alone…"

Now Poppy could understand why he had looked so distraught when she had been about to leave the room. "I'm sorry."

"And I was always alone, always by myself." Kevin's eyes teared up as he relived those moments. "I thought I'd have my friends by my side... but even they left me. And when I got dragon pox, e-even the matron ignored me... And she didn't listen till I lashed out at her."

"She shouldn't have done that," Poppy said. "That's not what Healers should be like."

"And now…" Kevin sniffed. "I've never felt so hopeless in my life. I just… I just wanted a normal life. I just want to live and make friends and study and make my parents happy and all that. I-I don't want to die. I mean, when I was left all alone, I really, _really_ wanted to die—to _disappear_, but now… now that I'm so close to death, I just realize how stupid I was for thinking something like that…"

And when he spoke those words, it was as if he was echoing the very thoughts that Poppy herself had when she was younger. It hit far too close to home.

"And I just—I can't bear to see my parents' faces so stricken anymore…" Kevin sobbed.

She felt incredibly sad for him. She murmured some encouraging words, and he nodded. She gave him false assurances, even if it pained her to lie. He slowly fell asleep and dreamt of magical things and a heavenly place where he could see his parents' smiles again.

The world outside was dimming under the stars as Poppy closed the curtains.

* * *

Within the next few days, Poppy heard that Kevin was recovering quickly, and she felt relieved. The green rashes were fading, and his skin was regaining a healthy colour. It was just as she was starting to feel hope for the young patient that she heard from Shirley—who had rushed to inform her—of his sudden death.

Without a word, Poppy dropped what she was doing and ran to Kevin's ward. There was no way he was gone. It couldn't be. He had stopped coughing. His fever had dropped. He was smiling again. He had hope again. He was becoming _all right again_, so how could it be? She stopped in her tracks as her worst fear came true. In numb silence, she saw him being carried out from the room.

A peaceful look was etched on his face.

He was still dreaming, it seemed.

His parents were not the only one sobbing.

She willed herself not to break down as she watched his lifeless body being taken away and realised that this—_this_ was how the rest of her life was going to be. She would keep on getting close to the patients, and she would watch some of them fade away.

"_Don't get too close to the patients, Poppy," one of her seniors warned, when Poppy first started._

"_Pardon?" Poppy asked in polite confusion. Shouldn't they be close to their patients? That was what they were supposed to do, right?_

"_You don't want them to break your heart," the senior said, expecting Poppy to understand._

She hadn't understood then, but she understood now. How many more patients would she meet and get close to, only to end up watching them die?

Did she have the strength to handle that?

She didn't, and she wanted to quit. But she still wanted to put her skills to use somehow. She thought about joining Hogwarts, as they obviously needed a better matron. She sent an application, and found her timing fortunate, as the matron there had decided to retire at around the same time.

At times, she reflected on her decision to work at Hogwarts. Poppy sometimes felt annoyed by the students' recklessness, but rarely did a huge incident occur in the castle. The students were annoying, yet always enthusiastic. They radiated so much positive energy, which was much better than being surrounded by patients who could die any minute. Telling their last words to a nurse might have been a relief for them, but all they did was lift their burden and transfer it onto someone else.

Healers were human too, and there was only so much a human could take.

* * *

**Ater Laevus is just a potion I made up. Also, I don't know if it's canon if you can transfer the effects of a potion to a necklace, but if you can supposedly send hexes in mail (like what happened to Hermione), then I guess this should be possible too...**

**I came up with the name from translating Latin words:**

**Felix Felicis: lucky luck**

**Ater Laevus: black/dark/unlucky for Ater & unlucky for Laevus**


End file.
